so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
