we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize