Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
