White coat. Heels.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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