Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
