You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
