porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
