why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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