I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
