you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
