So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am one with the molecules
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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