Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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