I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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