Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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