capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize