I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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