You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize