textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize