they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
