WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
