I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
