I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
