My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
