whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
