hell yes lets make some ravioli
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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