How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
