Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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