butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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