i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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