just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
