my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
