Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
