WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
MIDGETS
????
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
