i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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