i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
