so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
