Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
