I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
