I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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