Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
