question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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