that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
