My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
