dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
