Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
time to smoke my breakfast
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize