seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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