I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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