Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
