I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this just has baby written all over it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize