...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
