Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Be still, my beating vagina.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
