if i can run in heels then i can drive
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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