so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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