I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
