I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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