I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my poor anus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
