i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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