I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
