That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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