Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my shit smells like andre
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Randomize
