I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
