he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
