Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
